La La Land.

We are back up and running today. It will only be a matter of hours before my cgm is sensing again. Only a matter of hours before I am again chained to the blood sugar read outs that dictate my next move throughout the day. Only a matter of hours before mom and dad will both be glancing at their phones to see where I am at every now and then.

You see I have always taken about two, three, up to seven days before I put another dexcom site. My mom and doctors never really understood this but because I wore it most of the time, they never really question. But here’s the real reasons why I wait.

First, It usually takes over a week to recover from the traumatic experience of putting the previous site in. I mean really, When else in life do you plunge something into your soft skin and then try to stay perfectly still as you remove the needle from your skin? That just isn’t natural, yet we subject ourselves to it every week.  Not to mention the sharp, sharp, (sometimes) excruciating pain that comes along with it. “Just pop one in,” Mom says. Yea? Just pop one in? If only it were that easy.

Secondly, I feel like my abdomen needs time to heal. Not just heal, but it usually takes a week or so to get the sticky, gooey, black-grey remnants of tape left behind, off. Every day is a little more itching and picking, in hopes that the spot will be clear and ready to go when you need to use it again.

Thirdly, as the warnings of “sensor end” getting more frequent as the seventh day comes to a close it is also a countdown to freedom. Not much is more liberating that tearing off that site on the last day, finally exposing that skin to some fresh air and finally being able to itch that scratch that has been there all week. I don’t have to worry about it getting wet and not sticking, I get a break from having to worry about where the waistline of my pants will end, and I get a break from the temptation to constantly look at the read out.

And lastly, I know that blood sugars are not a reflection of the type of person a diabetic is. I have been told that my whole life. But when the dexcom ends, I can’t help feel relief that for the next two or three days I will not have to be constantly reminded how poorly I counted carbs for that one meal, how I did not prepare physical activity properly or how I stacked insulin, among other things. Because without the read out every five minutes, it is almost like being in La la land. And I’m okay with that.

I know that for the next two or three days my blood sugars will be more out of control than they would be if I hooked the dexcom back up right away. But sometimes being in la la land, blinded from the harshness of what is really going on with my blood sugars, is better than facing the everyday realities of this disease.

AB

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