Brainwashed.

I have been brainwashed.

Ever since that day in June of 2000 I never felt thirsty without immediately thinking I had high blood sugar and it was the last time I would feel hungry without thinking my blood sugar was low.

Its because of this disease I often forget that we, as humans, are allowed to feel shaky, grumpy, sweaty… hungry and we are just that, hungry.

I forget that it is normal to have a dry mouth and be thirsty when it is hot out. It doesn’t always mean you have a high blood sugar.

Because of Diabetes I have been brainwashed into thinking every kid lived with life-threatening worries, fears and burdens on their shoulders, even at five years old.

Diabetes brainwashed me into thinking that anyone’s parents who chaperoned a school field trip was there because their child had a health problem too.

Its because of diabetes that I think any other person I see drinking a juice box must be doing so because they have low blood sugar.

Because of diabetes I can never walk around in public without scoping out insulin pumps, even from a mile away.

It has brainwashed me into accepting the weird stares at the beach because of pump sites and dexcom sensors.

Diabetes has single handedly changed the meaning of “feeling sick” because I feel subpar on the daily and I do not look phased to the outside world.

This little demon living inside of me took away any freedom I had to feel like a normal person… but it has given me a new normal.

It is now “normal” for me to grin and bear the ignorant and uneducated comments and statements made about diabetes.

Diabetes made it “normal” to approach life with a unique appreciation for all of the times you just feel really, really good.

My new “normal” is to know what hope feels like, even in the direst situations.

My new “normal” is knowing what empathy, resilience and support really mean because of all of the amazing people with diabetes I have been blessed to meet throughout my life.

It is my new “normal” to embrace my passion to do whatever I can to make a difference in the lives of those with type 1 diabetes… without being ashamed of it.

I have been brainwashed.

Ever since that day in June of 2000, I have been shown countless times that everything in life happens for a reason and it was the last time I ever doubted the strength my family and I have to face this challenge.

AB

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