A Monster.

Diabetes is a monster. A monster. And while yes it is scary, this monster is dumb and unaware.

This monster doesn’t realize that it isn’t just attacking my pancreas, it is attacking my mental strength and my emotional capacity. It doesn’t realize that it hasn’t just affected my life, but those around me, creating the biggest of strains on my family. It doesn’t realize that it is creating sleepless nights and deep worry lines in the faces of my parents (don’t worry you still look great). It doesn’t realize that it isn’t just taking away my ability to break down food but taking away my ability to feel normal. It doesn’t realize that it creates so much hassle and just many days of feeling like crap. This monster doesn’t realize that it made a five year old girl grow up too fast.

But I feel bad for this monster.

What this monster also doesn’t realize is that in its attempt to scare me and take over my life, it has created a bravery, determination and fight within me that I didn’t know possible. It doesn’t know that it hasn’t broken my spirit, only made it waiver at times.

This monster didn’t realize that when it chose to attack my body, I wasn’t the only one involved in the fight. It has brought me to some of my closest friends and shown me what having a true support system means. It has made me appreciate life to its fullest. It has created this strength within me that when I feel like crap, to go on with life with a smile on my face. It has taught me what hard work is and how good it feels when hard work pays off. It has brought my family and I closer together. It has made me a great mathematician. It has matured me and taught me to problem solve better than any class I could take. It has showed me what defying the odds mean and not letting it dictate what I do.

And what I think most importantly, this monster has not realized that it has given me my passion for life. A reason to study in DC. It has helped me give a voice to the voiceless. Diabetes, you are a monster, and you may be unaware and dumb, but a beautiful monster. A blessing.

I like to believe that this monster was not purely evil and was just as innocent as I was when it invaded my 5 year old body. It was forced to come against its will, to choose a person to invade. And after choosing me, I think that this monster hoped (as much as I hope for a cure now) that this little girl would be strong enough to handle it.

Guess what, she is.

dumb monster

AB

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s